I really am. Yes, yes, I know I've been ridiculously silent (and that's got a be lie, that I haven't updated since September 17th. I mean, that was months ago, ri---oh. Wait. Hah. It's only October.) but I've been mulling things over. Mostly, I got stuck. It sucks getting stuck on a scene, but I figured out a way around it. There was this thing I wanted to show, a couple things actually, but I couldn't get Medic to do what I told him, so I had to go about it in a completely different manner.
Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that I've realized that I am a HORRIBLE person to my babies. Really, I am awful. I've imploded Medic's home life and made him emotionally unhealthy, and that's only what I've told you about him. What I've done to Dean, my main baby, is....extensive and nasty and I am SUCH a sadist to him. When I have a bad day, it's him I pick on. Granted, I also give him a lot of love and breaks, which balances out in the end, but it doesn't forgive it.
I mean, let's see exactly what I've done to him. I've killed him mother, grandparents, and aunt. His uncle is technically still alive until I decide what to do with him. I've killed his twin sister, which he felt, and let an evil mad scientist experiment upon him. Then he's possessed by an evil god (...okay, well, not really, but it's the best way to describe that) and forced to kill people he loves dearly and who have become his second family. Then he's used as a weapon to wipe out MILLIONS of people. And experimented on AGAIN. Oh, and then he gets together with Medic, but then they break up because Medic's got a stick up his ass, and Dean is all torn up over that, but he hooks up with someone else who pretty much worships him and appreciates him for who he is, but then Dean gets back together with Medic just in time for the world to implode...AGAIN.
....and I'm really glossing over the details but that's about three books worth of trauma. And there's other stuff too, dealing with Meechum and Evelyn and oh, Dean. Baby. I'm so sorry I'm the one who came up with you, but you know you get your happy ending at the end of everything.
Even if I do sit here listening to music about abusive relationships and contemplate if I could work that in anywhere. And then realize that next to everything else that's happened to my baby that an abusive relationship seems so...lame. I wouldn't do it to him anyway. He wouldn't put up with it. He'd walk. My baby is a strong boy, who has a mouth on him, and a mind, and even though he loves who he loves, he wouldn't put up with it. .........and Apollo would seriously immolate anyone who even dared hurt Dean like that emotionally. It helps to be the favored of the Sun God. :D
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